The Dreaded “R” Word

Veteran global worker Sue shares how she’s wrestled with the idea of retirement

About three years ago, I was searching Google for medical advice for an elderly person. I couldn’t believe it when the very first entry gave advice for those over 65. That was not what I meant by elderly! This was the first indication that I was entering a new designation based on my age. I am preparing myself to enter another.

Next year we will change our career status to “retired.” I feel a bit shocked at how quickly the years have passed. I admit to having one or two achy joints and getting up more slowly, but most days I don’t feel old. I told a friend that one of my goals for this year was to get up from a chair without any moans or groans. She said to be grateful I could still get up!

Retirement sounds so final, like I’m done and life is downhill from now on. Other people my age are retiring, and they don’t seem to mind. Some even look forward to it and count the days. I’ve heard stories from retirees who are busier now than they were when they were working! I don’t fully understand why I dislike the word “retirement” so much.

Maybe it depends on the career a person has. It could be a job they dislike, or a wrong fit. If the work is getting harder to do, I could see looking forward to doing something different. Possibly the hours are so consuming that the person burns out, or they have a bucket list of new things to try. Or they just have a better understanding of what retirement is than I do.

I started out as a file clerk for a construction company. I then switched to a secretarial position for a while. But I knew those were temporary because I felt God leading me into full-time ministry. And that’s what I’ve been doing for 40 years. Through the years I enjoyed some roles more than others, but God was at work in me and through me. I can see how He prepared me and led me to what I do here and now.

I enjoy what I do. I’ve served in different corners of the world. I’ve experienced a variety of ministries that have led me to this point. And I’m not tired of it—I love being in ministry! I currently enjoy writing, speaking, mentoring and podcasting. More ideas come to me for what I’d still like to do.

So rather than use the word “retirement,” in my mind I call it the dreaded “R word.'” I don’t like thinking about it. I know I need to prepare for it, but it is like going to the dentist. I put it off as long as possible because I don’t want to go.

When I hear the “R word,” I can’t help but feel deflated, like I’m not needed anymore. In car language, retirement would feel like being stuck in a trunk as a spare tire: rarely, if ever, needed.

As I’ve been struggling with this “R word” concept, I started to read more about it. I wanted to see how people manage it, how they view it and what they do. I came to an article that changed my perspective and gave me hope.

In “Getting Old for the Glory of God,” John Piper wrote, “Millions of Christian men and women are finishing their formal careers in their fifties and sixties, and for most of them there will be a good twenty years before their physical and mental powers fail. What will it mean to live those final years for the glory of God? How will we live them in such a way as to show that Christ is our highest Treasure?” (emphasis mine)

When I read that, hope stirred my heart. Retirement is just a word—a status that I’m given because of my age. The dreaded “R word” doesn’t define who I am. It doesn’t reflect my capacity to honor God with my life. It doesn’t dictate how I must see my life or determine how I fill my days. God’s purpose for me doesn’t end when a designated term applies or a stage of life begins.

Looking through scripture, I find examples of older people who kept serving God. Caleb conquered a mountain at 85. Abraham (100) and Sarah (90) had a child. Moses led the people out of Egypt when he was 80. Anna, described as very old, served God in the temple well into her 80s. Being old does not exclude me from serving God. How I do it may change. I may face more limits or challenges, but God still has a purposeful plan for me.

One of those purposes is to share his faithfulness and power with future generations. The psalmist wrote in Psalm 71:17-18,

Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
    and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.

Even when I am old and gray,
    do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
    your mighty acts to all who are to come. (NIV)

These verses especially shape my view of grandparenting. I don’t want to simply spoil my grandkids, though that can be fun! I want to declare to them God’s power and His mighty acts. May they know and may I live out the fact that God doesn’t ever forsake us whatever our age, young or old.

I have a lifetime of experiencing God’s faithfulness. He doesn’t change. His faithfulness endures. My purpose to know Him more and honor Him is still possible. No matter how many birthdays I celebrate, I don’t want to stop growing. I desire to keep pursuing the Lord with my whole heart. I can continue to deepen my walk with Him. I prayerfully look to Him to guide my steps each day. I use the gifts He has entrusted to me for His glory. I keep learning from those more mature than me. I can learn from those younger than me (there are lots more of them than there used to be!). I can also be intentional in building into others’ lives. I can still look for opportunities to share Jesus with others. Ministry continues even when the dreaded “R word” enters the picture.

I realize growing older is a blessing. Not everyone gets to the “R” stage of life. Life is a gift from God, a privilege not to be taken for granted. Life is also a matter of stewardship, and I want to invest it wisely.

So, what does it look like to grow old in a way that honors God?

I am not sure that I know. Surprise thought: I wonder if it may be similar to what it was like when I was younger! Memories from 40 years ago come to mind. I was entering a new stage of life and ministry. I remember getting off the plane in a foreign country. I saw machine gun-toting soldiers who didn’t look very welcoming. I felt frightened. I paused. Was I sure that I wanted to go through immigration and enter the unknown? I knew my life would change. I didn’t like change and still don’t. I needed to be ready to encounter a strange-to-me world.

I asked questions back then like those I am asking now, but with gray hair and a slower pace. How can I serve the Lord? How can I show my love for Him today? Where is he leading me? Do I need to change directions and pivot? Are my eyes on Him? Am I consumed with the temporary or looking to what is everlasting?

What I do know is that I am still on a journey of faith. On this journey, I make choices. Will my heart continue to chase after glorifying God every day? I can keep serving him every day in this new phase of life. May my life, from beginning to end, be useful to the Lord.

For anyone near or in this “R” stage of life, we know we have more years in our history than we do in our future here on earth. This perspective is to our advantage. We’ve already learned that time is a limited commodity. Moments come and go, never to come again. That gives us an edge to be able to live with our feet on the ground and our eyes on eternity.

I foresee a time when I may actually say the “R word” without cringing. I can anticipate what God will do in the coming years. Retirement is yet another opportunity to walk by faith into the future for the glory of God. Or as John Piper challenges us in the same article I quoted earlier, “Live dangerously for the one who loved you and died for you at age 33.”